Can I move forward 1/8

I stepped away for a day, reflected on my last ten days and the last seven with Arb. I can’t say I would have done things differently, I can’t say I could have been more present. I can say I wish we never had cancer in our lives. I can say I’m glad he wasn’t afraid. I can say I still have a protective layer of shock buffering me from the intense loss we have faced.

Kate is home with me now. We are sorting through 35 years of stuff trying to set up a path for me to go forward. We have made some progress but still a ways to go. We are working on arrangements for a Saturday, hoping to have a wonderful day honoring our love. We went to Beppe and Laurie’s for dinner tonight. Great food and vino. I gave Laurie the shirt and Pj pants that Guy died in and asked her if she would turn them into a pillow. It will bring me comfort.

We are working on a spot for people to gather on Friday night. We are trying to get the back room at the Bier Stein but apparently the can’t reserve it on Friday night. Anyway we will let you know when we figure something out. Meanwhile I am looking forward to seeing many of you on Saturday and I know Guy will be watching and enjoying all the fuss over him.

This picture is from Cinque Mulini. He went back for a visit to one of his favorite race courses in Italy, outside Milano.

2 thoughts on “Can I move forward 1/8

  1. It’s all that love that keeps you putting one foot in front of the other. It’s all that love that hurts so much too. How can that be? Thank you Kate for just being you. The comfort you provide is beyond words. See you on Saturday. Love the Engles


  2. Lee and Family-
    It is highly unlikely that you remember me from the time I lived in Eugene and was part of the running community. I just wanted to let you know that you have provided a perfect example for me (and others, I suspect) on how to deal with and ultimately losing a loved one to an illness. I’ve followed your blog and was amazed at every turn how you managed the strength. You have all showed us the power of love. I’m so sorry for Guy’s passing and you and your families pain and sorrow but know that you are being thought of by many, many people.

    Liked by 1 person

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